Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Mama Got Drunk

For the first time in a year, I went to the "baby" store, you know one of those stores that is the mecca for all expecting mothers. It wasn't like I HAD to go there, but I wanted to buy some new socks for the kids. I know, I could probably get socks anywhere in the world besides a baby store. I could have even gone to the supermarket and bought socks, but I felt this gravitational pull towards the "baby" store.

So I am walking around, looking at the the big bellies and baby buggies, lost in my own oblivion. It was like I couldn't think straight, like I was walking in a foggy forest full of expecting mommies and newborns. Awww, I could smell the sweet smell of baby bath and lotion, I became more intoxicated with each whiff. I began to pat my own recently slimmed-down-but-still-fat belly. I could remember the first time I felt Luca kick and Charly do one of her somersaults. I was drunk. I was drunk with baby fever. I had to get out before I was buying booties and the birth control pills were flushed down the toilet...

I somehow got out of there with my little angels in tow and mission accomplished...socks for all. But I couldn't shake the baby bliss buzz that I had...what if I just had one more, it wouldn't be so bad...right. My baby is almost potty trained and Luca starts pre-school in a few months...just one more, its only one more...

And just as I was about to call the babys' daddy to test he waters...I see a plume of projectile vomit come from the back seat into the passengers seat...and another...and another...regurgitated bananas everywhere. Charly was covered, the car seats looked like a snail fight and I had to pee so badly that I couldn't hold it any longer...Sobriety...Nope, ten birth control pills when we get home.

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